If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
