you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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