I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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