what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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