Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize