I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
