It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
