How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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