But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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