His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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