who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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