Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
