actually, I'm a sock model
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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