just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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