easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
