addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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