can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
