why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
