I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
