I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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