I must be too annoying 4 u.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
