I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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