I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
foreskin is a definite game changer
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Randomize
