Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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