just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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