Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
