how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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