Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I puked a lego.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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