erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
