Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Randomize
