What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My dick has a subreddit
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
