they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
