Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
