i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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