bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
