That's intense
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize
