I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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