I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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