this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
