Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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