yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
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i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
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Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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