I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
