apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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