If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
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there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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