just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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