You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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