Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
