Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
