my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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