Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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