im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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