guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
