Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
