1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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