loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I looked at my own cervix.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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