Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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