evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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