the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We were destined to go to rehab together
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
