is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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