the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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